I went out for breakfast this morning and scanned through the menu. A lot sounded good, but as soon as I hit one particular item on the menu, the search was over.  If you're a winner in life (i.e. not a loser), than you already are well aware of what I'm about to tell you: Eggs Benedict is the king of the breakfast landscape. It's not even remotely close. A simple combination of a poached egg perched atop Canadian bacon and an English muffin drenched in golden, delicious hollandaise sauce that puts all other breakfasts to shame. The thing about eggs benedict is that it's even better than the sum of it's parts. There's nothing special about a poached egg, Canadian bacon is just ham (although it's ham that would say "sorrey" if it were to accidentally bump into you at a curling match), and English muffins are not even that good. But put them together and magic happens. But the real key player: the hollandaise sauce. Say what you want a

Week by week, I'm exposing Nostradamus for the hack he was. I don't mean to brag, but I am absolutely crushing this old French nerd.  Let us recap my predictions from last week: Someone will be videotaped saying or doing something that offends others. I made the prediction and lawyer Aaron Schlossberg absolutely delivered. The kind folks of the internet also gave us this video of him running from reporters while the Benny Hill music plays , which is something we all need in our lives. An internet meme will be perceived one way by one group and another way by another group. Does the toy in this video say "Brainstorm" or "Green Needle?" Honestly, who gives a shit? Well, apparently the internet does, and that's another prediction that came true from your friendly neighborhood clairvoyant, Mattstradamus. The casting of a movie or TV show will enrage nerds. I saw some people on Twitter whining about Alden Ehrenreich's performance as

My entire life, I would hear older people talking about how much more difficult life was back when they were growing up. As essentially an old-young guy, I was always looking forward to the day that I could tell the next generation how easy they have it and how much more difficult things were for me. But, things are so easy these days, I don't know what I'd say. If I wanted to buy a song I didn't have to sift through boxes of CDs or records. No, I logged onto Spotify and streamed it. Did my copy of an album ever wear out? No, since it was digital, but I did have to listen to the occasional ad. That was pretty tough. The only thing that I may be able to talk about are cars. Driverless-cars are on the horizon and that could bode well for me talking about the difficulties I've faced in my life because I had to actually drive my car. I can see myself sitting in a big arm chair weaving a yarn to any youngster that will listen: "Back in my day we didn't h

CNN Tech-Alexa has many talents. Amazon's voice assistant can play music, set timers, order a pizza, and send recordings of private conversations to random people in its users' contact list. An Amazon Echo user in Portland, Oregon,   says she was shocked to learn her Echo had recorded a conversation with her husband without them knowing, then sent the audio file to one of his employees in Seattle. This is a nightmare scenario. Shit-talking someone behind their back is as American as baseball or apple pie. And who comes along to ruin the fun? That tattling, glorified soda can, Alexa. It is honestly shocking that people are voluntarily bugging their own homes with these smart speakers. People have lived in fear of their homes being bugged by the government for decades, but as soon as Jeff Bezos makes you PAY to do it people can't throw their credit card at him fast enough. If Alexa is going to is going to rat you out when you are telling someone about what a dope your

I really enjoy watching sports, but there is one that has never quite clicked for me, that's why I decided that this spring, I would try and get into basketball. So far, the results are underwhelming. Basketball is so popular and such a part of the public zeitgeist these days that I'll admit I kind of felt left out. I threw on some March Madness games and they were fun to watch but with that over In decided to try watching some NBA basketball. The main reason I never really got into basketball is that it occupies the same slot on the calendar as the hockey season, and there's not a chance in hell I would ever fore go some hockey so that I could watch some basketball. Hockey is so ridiculously exciting that it makes most other sports feel slow and dull. But Matt. Yes? In basketball they put up like 100 points a game, how is that not exciting? Because what's exciting about someone scoring if it happens 50-100 times a game? Hockey falls right in between socc

I 100% thought that this was Martin Starr, he of Freaks And Geeks and  Silicon Valley fame. (CNN) A 30-year-old man didn't get the message that it was time to move out of his parents' home, even after they left him five notices and an offer of cash to help find new digs.  The New York family drama eventually rolled into the court system, where a judge on Tuesday ruled in the parents' favor and ordered Michael Rotondo to leave after having a room for eight years.  But Rotondo contends he is owed a six-month notice. (Link to full article here .) I've got to hand it to this fella. He has no shame, which is something that I'm actually kind of envious of. If I were living at home at the age of 30, not only would I be doing everything in my power to change the situation, I'd be doing everything I could to not draw attention to the fact that I still lived at home. This guy stood his ground so hard into staying at home that he is having to wi

I dip my toe into the world of berries with the black sheep of the berry family, the blackberry.

I never thought that I would have to prove that I've been following the Vegas Golden Knights all season, long before they hoisted the Clarence Campbell Bowl as the NHL's Western Conference Champions, but here we are. When the Las Vegas franchise was announced I was excited. Not because I had any connection to Las Vegas, I've never been there, but because I have an interest in sports business and I was looking forward to seeing how a National Hockey League team would be built from the ground up in not only a non-traditional hockey market, but a non-traditional sports market. I watched as the team was selected at the NHL Awards (in Las Vegas fittingly) and when the thirty picks had been made, headlined by Marc-Andre Fleury (who despite being a Pittsburgh Penguin for his entire career, I have had a signed picture of him in my room since I was like ten years-old. Thanks Uncle Jon!), I thought to myself, that group doesn't look too bad. Now, don't mistake that las

Last week, I did my first ever round of Mattstradamus Predictions , and so far, it's even easier than I thought it would be. Here are the results from last week, prediction by prediction: Today, Mother's Day, people will take to social media proclaiming their mother to be the best mother in the world. Many will make this claim, drawing into question its validity. Unless you lived under a rock and didn't make your way to social media, then you know that I crushed this prediction. How much more right could I have been about this one? None. None more right. Somewhere, the McRib will return... but only for a limited time. Thanks to the kind folks at mcriblocator.com , I can confirm that the McRib was spotted last week in West Palm Beach, Florida. Already 2-0 in my first week of making predictions. I don't like to toss around the word "prodigy" too much, but... President Trump will say something that will ruffle some feathers I thought the times

Quite some time ago, I made it my duty to review fruits. After some time away, I've returned with a review of the one and only, avocado.

I'm four episodes in to Netflix's docu-series Wild, Wild Country (two Netflix related blogs in a row. Can you tell that I just graduated college and need a job?) which tells the story of the Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and his followers as they build a commune in Oregon and get into all sorts of wacky trouble. As I was watching, I was struck by how thousands of people were able to blindly follow one man. It's been seen countless times throughout history, a leader creates a following who will do anything for them, good or bad. That's when it dawned on me that I could never start a cult. Not because I don't think it would be kind of cool for a little bit, until the strong arm of the law comes down because my followers were stirring up trouble. It's because I'm missing something that all cult leaders have had in spades. What did the all have in common? Charisma. I can tell that some of you may have just thought, Aw, poor guy is too hard on himself. Nope.

I, like many people, recently found myself watching the new Netflix series Evil Genius . If you haven't seen it yet go watch it right now (on second thought, finish reading this first then go watch it... actually, no, wait... finish reading this post, then click around the blog and read some other posts THEN go watch Evil Genius. There we go, that sounds good). The series is extremely well done and deals with the 2003 Pizza Bomber Case which occurred in Erie, Pennsylvania. If you're unfamiliar, a pizza delivery man, Brian Wells, robbed a bank wearing a metal collar with a bomb attached to it and wielding a shotgun that looked like an old-time cane. Once police caught up to Wells, he claimed that people had strapped the bomb to him, sent him to rob the bank, and then follow a series of clues to unlock the collar and free himself from the bomb. However, as Wells sat on the ground (in a very awkward criss-cross-applesauce fashion) the bomb exploded, killing him. That'

Ok, maybe I'm a part of the problem, but I can't get enough of the stories coming out of Northern Lebanon High School. (You can check out my last blog about all the shenanigans here .) You've got principals chucking sex-toys hither and thither as a goof (which if anyone has access to the security camera footage of this, I'd love to see it because I want to put the Benny Hill music over it because it makes everything even funnier) and now kids are being instructed to smile in what almost seems like a scene out of a cult documentary or even 1984.  Here's what's happening, courtesy of the fine folks at The Lebanon Daily News : Northern Lebanon School District students are required to smile while walking the hallways between classes, while bullying incidents are being ignored by administrators, according to some parents and teachers. Students who don’t have a smile on their face while in the hallways between classes are told to either smile or go see a

James Cameron’s Titanic is inarguably one of Hollywood’s greatest accomplishments. But, I’ve never seen it and have no desire to. Part of the fun of any good story is the unexpected. For example, look at any episode of The Twilight Zone as well as Planet of the Apes (which features an ending written by Rod Serling, who wrote the first draft of the script). Titanic has no twist. In fact, I think the movie was spoiled for me in second grade when we learned about the actual Titanic. Sure, there’s the whole character dynamic, but I even know how that ends. DiCaprio drowns, because that chick wouldn’t scooch over and let him climb up on that floating door or something. In fairness, Titanic couldn’t have a twist ending, otherwise it would have been spitting in the face of its source material. I honestly think that the true star of Titanic is the iceberg. Imagine the story without it. I’ve taken the liberties of rewriting the scene right before impact: Sailor Captai

Nostradamus made lots of predictions back in the in the sixteenth-century. Some of them cam true but if you make enough of them, you're bound to get some predictions right. Just look at the Simpsons. So, I thought I'd try my hand at making some predictions. Here are the Mattsradamus Predictions for the week of May 13th, 2018: Today, Mother's Day, people will take to social media proclaiming their mother to be the best mother in the world. Many will make this claim, drawing into question its validity. I'm fairly confident about this one. Go to your news feed and you'll see lot's of Mother's Day posts, which is fine, but if you really do love your mom as much as you say you do, there's no need to prove it to your co-workers and casual acquaintances. Somewhere, the McRib will return... but only for a limited time. I've has never had a McRib, but some people enjoy them I suppose. I still can't figure out which animal it's supposed to

I’ve been known to throw on a little ESPN in the background as I go about my day. Today was no different. What WAS different was the programming. I was introduced to competitive beanbag toss. At least that’s what I call it. They were calling it “cornhole” which is a horrendous name that I just refuse to use it.  You have beanbags, you toss them, boom, beanbag toss.  It might be a table tennis vs. ping-pong sort of thing, where one is the professional sounding name while the other is the what you call it in when you play in your basement. The athletes were exactly what you’d expect. Kind of nerdy looking dudes, who I’m shocked didn’t have Bud Lights in their non-throwing hands. That’s not because they look like they enjoy tipping a few back, but because in my experience, playing this game with a few in you was the only way to be any good. Outside of elite competitions like the one I watched this afternoon (which looked like it was being held in the small confere