A Very Christmas Christmas: My Annual Hallmark Movie Treatment
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It's no secret that Hallmark movies are objectively trash. There's nothing particularly interesting about them and any form of "stakes" are as hard to find in them as a lead actress who didn't star in a late-80s/early-90s sitcom. That's why for the past few years I've written treatments for movies I thought would be perfect when it comes to placating the rubes who eat up Hallmark's holiday offerings. Who could forget the heartwarming tale of a woman overcoming her husband's death by autoerotic asphyxiation, A Conundrum For Christmas ? Or the Christmas/Hannukah mashup we all needed, The Christmas Dreidle ? How could I top those? Well, it won't be easy, but perhaps with this... *** A Very Christmas Christmas By Matt Reigle Warren Christmas (played by me) and Jeanine Christmas (Kate Beckinsale) live on a quiet cul-de-sac in the town of Humbugsville, Maryland. Everyone in Humbugsville hates Christmas, and the townspeople even banned celebrating b