I started watching the first few episodes of the new Netflix documentary-series Jailbirds. If you're unfamiliar with it, think of it as "The Real Housewives of Jail." The show is set in Sacramento, California; a fact that I'm sure thrills the local tourism board. The prison itself looks like the prison planet from the first  Guardians of The Galaxy  movie. This shouldn't come as a surprise, but this show solidified my belief that I'm not cut out for the clink (that shouldn't be a surprise since I just referred to it as the "clink"). There are too many rules in prison. I'm not talking about the guards, they're the reasonable one's in this equation, it's actually the inmates that are completely ridiculous.  The unwritten rules would drive me insane. I would be so sick of worry about being bludgeoned by a Crip because I set my food tray down too loudly. Speaking of the food; they show the food somewhat frequently...

Hollywood Award Season.  The glitz, glamour, and the self-congratulatory back-patting. It all kicks off Sunday night with the Golden Globes, and who better to give you a preview of the nominees and give their selections than myself; a man who hasn't actually seen any of the nominees. Let's dig in, shall we? We'll start with the small screen. Television Best Television Series - Drama The Americans (FX) Bodyguard (Netflix) Homecoming (Amazon) Killing Eve (BBC America) Pose (FX) We starting off on a tough one for me. I'm not exactly one to seek out dramas and generally if people tell me that I need to watch a show (looking at you  Game of Thrones ) I won't end up watching it. I haven't even heard of  Bodyguard, Killing Eve,  or  Pose  which really narrows down my options here. I saw a lot of commercials for  Homecoming  while I was watching other things on Amazon that weren't  Homecoming,  which annoyed me and cam...

I normally don't care about what's on TV these days because I generally don't watch it. But, when I do happen to be watching something, my eyes are assaulted by commercials for whatever is the new singing competition du jour, and I've had enough of it.  I'll concede American Idol because it was new when it came out which made it exciting. That show was huge. In fact, I bet more people voted during the first season of American Idol than during the last mid-term elections. Now every network has shows where people sing competitively and they're all practically the same. But Matt, the show I like has the judges looking the other way so they can't judge a book by it's cover. This one always makes me laugh because the premise is basically this: some peoples' ugliness is so distracting that even if they're a decent singer, no one can get past that uni-brow and crooked teeth so the playing field needs to be leveled. Plus, do you really think a p...