Showing posts from November, 2019

A Comedy Sketch About A Comedy Sketch

Back in college I wrote a lot of sketch comedy. Some of it was produced for class projects, for fun, or for the late, great college talk show that was UCF's ToKnight's The Night.  I still have a lot of un-produced sketches that are sitting on my computer collecting dust. I realized that one in particular that always made me laugh would likely never see the light of day unless I posted it here on my blog. Why? Because I thought a timely idea for a sketch that modern audiences would be able to relate to is one about a guy who watches the legendary Abbott & Costello "Who's On First" and just doesn't find it funny. It is legendary, but let's be honest, it makes very little sense. That was the angle of this sketch the one guy in 1938, who understood the bit, but just didn't see why everyone else found it funny. Some will say it's funny, some will say it isn't. Others will say that I'm recycling material that was just sitting ar

My Biggest Fear About Getting Older: The Pitfalls of The Shower

Every year, I watch the years tick away and I realize that I am not getting any younger. I thought maybe — just maybe — I could be the person to buck the trend of getting older as time progressed, but alas, this wasn't the case. Getting older is scary. You start to lose your physical and cognitive abilities, and every day tasks become difficult. However, the scariest thing about getting old is the shower. As a youngster myself, I put zero thought into showering. You hop in, you hop out. Boom. You're clean. Half the time, so little thought is expended that without realizing it, I'm suddenly dripping wet and wearing a towel. Once the years roll over to seventies, eighties, and up, the shower becomes your own personal Temple of Doom. You know that things are getting rough when you have to start adding safety equipment to the shower. It starts with metal handles and anti-slip shower mats, but before you know it, you're wearing a harness and a crash helmet.

Why I Should Be Allowed To Ask People, "How'd You Get That Eyepatch?"

One thing most of us can probably improve upon is how often we show interest in other people. It's human nature to be a little self-centered, but it makes everyone involved feel a bit better when you show interest in others. The problem is, society tries to keep this from happening by making it rude to ask people about certain things. Maybe the greatest example of this is when you see someone with an eyepatch. I'm talking about legit eyepatches, not those stick on ones that anyone can buy. When you consider that we're living in the 21st-century and most of us aren't pirates anymore; this is not an everyday occurrence. There is absolutely a story behind why an eyepatch has become a part of that person's everyday wardrobe. It's not like one day they woke up and were inexplicably wearing an eyepatch. Who wouldn't be interested in the story behind the eyepatch? However, society has dictated that it's rude to ask about this. Why is that? You'

A Conundrum For Christmas: My Hallmark Movie Treatment

Hallmark movies seem to be so formulaic that literally anyone could write one. Seeing as I fall into the category of "literally anyone," I decided to write up a treatment. *** A Conundrum For Christmas By Matt Reigle Carol Holly (played by Kate Beckinsale) is a an executive at a high-powered ad agency living in New York City. Christmas is the agency's busiest time of year, and it has caused Carol to lose her Christmas spirit, however her husband, Steve, and her son, Timmy, really like Christmas. Timmy has some sort of ailment (he can't stop hiccuping) and he tells his mom that he finds her lack of Christmas spirit disturbing, but Carol brushes him off and goes to work. At work, Carol's boss tells her that he will need her to work on Christmas, and she agrees because Christmas doesn't mean much to her.  Carol returns home from work and finds her husband dead (it's from auto-erotic asphyxiation, but we keep it implied only. It's a

Oil, Diamonds, & Chicken Sandwiches: Good Things Are Worth Fighting Over

Toward the tail end of the summer, America found itself in its most turbulent conflict since the Civil War. I am of course talking about the great Chicken Sandwich War of 2019 . The belligerents were Popeye's, the fast-food home of Cajun cuisine; and Chick-Fil-A, the restaurant with staff members so kind that it's a little unsettling. These two combatants feuded for several weeks until Popeye's ran out of bun rations and was forced to call a cease-fire. That's a bad look. Popeye's was going full Leon Lett into the end zone only to realize that in order to dethrone Chick-Fil-A, some sandwich persistence would be necessary. Rome wasn't built in a day, nor was Chick-Fil-A's empire of chicken. *** I'm a Chick-Fil-A guy. That statement will potentially ruffle feathers (Yup, I went there) due to what some deem to be questionable political stances from some of Chick-Fil-A's top-brass . I don't care what side of that equation you fall on,