I just moved back to Orlando, Florida and one of the cool things about being down here is that you can find just about everything within about a forty-five-minute drive. Beaches aren't that far away, there's great food, and you can huck a football in any direction and you'll hit some sort of tourist attraction. These to draw in as many tourists to these aptly named tourist attractions, every single piece of intellectual property has been shamelessly used. I thought the final straw was thinking that people would want to go on a Tonight Show motion-simulator ride, but oh, how wrong I was. Just a short football throw away from the Tonight Show ride (I measure distances by how far you can throw a football now) sits an eatery honoring one of morning television's greatest institutions,: NBC's Today Show. While surrounded by Minions, Simpsons characters, and magical British people in the various Harry Potter lands, I'm not sure who is getting all excited about a restau...

Like a lot of people, my routine before going anywhere now includes an additional step. While before I would pat myself down to confirm that I had grabbed my keys, wallet, and phone, I now do a quick feel around inside my pockets to make sure I grabbed my mask. I really never thought we'd get to a point where we all had to walk around masks virtually anytime we leave the house. In all honesty, It kind of scared me the first time I had to wear one in public. It had a very post-apocalyptic, Mad Max- ian vibe and I felt like at any moment someone was going to stab me in the jugular if that's what it took to procure the last industrial size pack of Charmin. However, that was months ago. Since then I've got over the nerves and am unabashedly Team Mask.  The fact that there are people militantly opposed to what is pretty much the least you can do when it comes to preventing the spread of COVID (aside from doing nothing at all) is odd to me. I feel like these people are missing ou...

About a week and a half ago, I tore off the latest page on my Far Side desk   calendar, revealing a delightful vignette featuring two kangaroo nerds with pouch protectors. After several minutes of side-splitting, Gary Larson-induced laughter,  I realized that the date was December 13, which in this case fell on a Friday. Not one for superstition, I decided to go about my day as I normally would, but not before grabbing a my lucky horseshoe and tapping on the door-frame exactly 4 times. I decided that I would go see a movie. I arrived at the theater and surveyed the posters that lined the lobby. I was struck by one particular poster that really piqued my interest. Knives Out, read the poster. Standing front and center was a familiar face, one that I had seen at least four times previously. "Why that's Daniel Craig," I said to no one. "James Bond himself." I had heard that a new Bond movie was in the works. Maybe they finished it up early ...

If you're looking to divide the state of Pennsylvania into to two discernible halves, you have to do it by drawing a vertical line straight through the middle of the state, leaving you with Eastern Pennsylvania and Western Pennsylvania. Each half is headlined by a different city, with Philadelphia in east and Pittsburgh to the west. The two cities offer up distinct cultures that often find themselves at odds with each other, turning the rest of the state into a battleground pitting the Eagles against the Steelers, Wawa against Sheetz. But perhaps the most ferocious — and by far the greasiest — is the battle between the Cheesesteak and the Primanti sandwich. I recently saw this argument raging in the comments of an Instagram post, and it always makes me laugh because it really shouldn't be an argument at all. The cheesesteak is superior to the Primanti sandwich by lightyears. Here's a major reason why the cheesesteak is better: I'm not going to bother explain...

Back in college I wrote a lot of sketch comedy. Some of it was produced for class projects, for fun, or for the late, great college talk show that was UCF's ToKnight's The Night.  I still have a lot of un-produced sketches that are sitting on my computer collecting dust. I realized that one in particular that always made me laugh would likely never see the light of day unless I posted it here on my blog. Why? Because I thought a timely idea for a sketch that modern audiences would be able to relate to is one about a guy who watches the legendary Abbott & Costello "Who's On First" and just doesn't find it funny. It is legendary, but let's be honest, it makes very little sense. That was the angle of this sketch the one guy in 1938, who understood the bit, but just didn't see why everyone else found it funny. Some will say it's funny, some will say it isn't. Others will say that I'm recycling material that was just sitting ar...

Every year, I watch the years tick away and I realize that I am not getting any younger. I thought maybe — just maybe — I could be the person to buck the trend of getting older as time progressed, but alas, this wasn't the case. Getting older is scary. You start to lose your physical and cognitive abilities, and every day tasks become difficult. However, the scariest thing about getting old is the shower. As a youngster myself, I put zero thought into showering. You hop in, you hop out. Boom. You're clean. Half the time, so little thought is expended that without realizing it, I'm suddenly dripping wet and wearing a towel. Once the years roll over to seventies, eighties, and up, the shower becomes your own personal Temple of Doom. You know that things are getting rough when you have to start adding safety equipment to the shower. It starts with metal handles and anti-slip shower mats, but before you know it, you're wearing a harness and a crash helmet. ...

One thing most of us can probably improve upon is how often we show interest in other people. It's human nature to be a little self-centered, but it makes everyone involved feel a bit better when you show interest in others. The problem is, society tries to keep this from happening by making it rude to ask people about certain things. Maybe the greatest example of this is when you see someone with an eyepatch. I'm talking about legit eyepatches, not those stick on ones that anyone can buy. When you consider that we're living in the 21st-century and most of us aren't pirates anymore; this is not an everyday occurrence. There is absolutely a story behind why an eyepatch has become a part of that person's everyday wardrobe. It's not like one day they woke up and were inexplicably wearing an eyepatch. Who wouldn't be interested in the story behind the eyepatch? However, society has dictated that it's rude to ask about this. Why is that? You...