Many inventions and fads come and go but somehow one, despite its unparalleled uselessness, has stood the test of time. I am of course referring to perennial TV ad and last minute "Oh shit, I forgot to get him a gift" gift, the Chia Pet. I can remember seeing those things in stores and on TV my entire life and haven’t known anyone who has ever owned one. I’ve never gone to someone’s house and they were like: “Here’s the kitchen we just re-did the whole thing, new cabinets and everything. Before that we finished the basement, got a nice, big flat screen down there. And oh yeah, you’ve got to see the Chia Pet, it’s an Elmer Fudd.” Have you ever wanted to own a clay sculpture of Bugs Bunny’s head? You have? Great! Now, how about a clay sculpture of Bugs Bunny’s head, with an afro made of moss! Everything is better with algae growing on it, ask anyone who has ever owned a pool. They’ll tell you the old pool-owner adage, “Why clean when it’s better green?” I a...
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