Problems I Need Dennis Rodman To Fix Now That He Solved The Whole North Korea Dilemma

Who'd have thunk it? Dennis Rodman is a world class fixer who was able to solve one of the greatest diplomatic problems in recent history. 

Now that he is finished saving the Korean Peninsula from nuclear annihilation, I have some new things he can work on.

Standardize the whole TSA process.

Every single time I fly the drill is different. Take your belt off, leave your belt on, throw your hat in a bin, wear it through the scanner. All I'm asking for is a little bit of consistency. If Dennis was able to get Kin Jong Un and Donny T on the same page, I think he can make it so that when I arrive at the airport I'm supposed to put my shoes in a bin or just throw them loose on the conveyor belt so I don;t get screamed at by a heavy set guy wearing surgical gloves.

Change Ihob back to Ihop.

I think I've only ever eaten at the restaurant formerly known as Ihop once, and if I could sum up my experience in a single word, it would be "meh." Still, changing the name is just flat out dumb and an embarrassing plea for attention. Mr. Rodman, please help us put the "pancakes" back in "International House Of Pancakes."

Help the Flyers win the Stanley Cup.

If there is one thing I would like Dennis to devote all of his problem solving time and effort to, it's this one. How could he do this? He could act as the Flyers personal front office enforcer. There isn't a person alive who would want to get on Dennis Rodman's bad side. He could use this to the Flyers' advantage to strong arm lopsided deals. Can you imagine trying to negotiate a contract with Dennis Rodman sitting behind you? You'd sign whatever he told you to, allowing the Flyers to sign free agent John Tavares to an 8 year, $24 million dollar deal. An unprecedented bargain, all because Dennis sat behind Tavares and his agent while breathing heavily.

Sounds like wishful thinking? Well, did you ever think you'd see the President of the United States and the Supreme Leader of North Korea? 

Nope. That's the power of one Dennis Rodman.

(Also, shout out PotCoin. This blog needs a sponsor. Sup?)