Posts

Showing posts from December, 2017

New Year's Eve: 3, 2, 1... Meh.

Image
The winter holiday season is coming to a close. While it’s been well documented that I’m a #ThanksgivingGuy, and you’d be hard pressed to find someone who isn’t a fan of Christmas, I think a lot of us can agree that the holiday season’s “finale,” New Year’s Eve, Is the season’s low point. The time leading up to New Year’s Eve can be fun, but the meat of the holiday itself is only from about 11:30 at night until midnight. It’s the horse racing of holidays. It happens really fast and then when it’s over some people are elated, others are pissed, but most don’t really care. When the clock strikes 12:01, everyone looks at each other with a, “what should we do now?” look. Then you go home and go to bed. Good times. I don’t even like going out for New Year’s Eve (in fairness, I’m not really a big nightlife guy any time of the year). But Matt, you’ve got to experience New Year’s Eve in Times Square at least once. No I don’t. That looks like it couldn’t be less fun.

Conspiracies with Craig: The Government Admitted Stuff About Aliens But I Already Knew All Of It (Guest Post)

Image
Editor’s Note: Hey. It’s Matt. I didn’t write this post. For the last couple of days, I’ve been getting non-stop texts from a friend of mine   an acquaintance a guy named Craig. He said he wouldn’t stop unless I posted his think piece on the recent revelations regarding the United States government and UFOs. He also said one of the conditions of him leaving me alone is that I refrain from editing his work. He called it “censorship.” Anyway, I hope you enjoy what Craig has to say and if you don’t please don’t hold it against me.  ___________________________________________________________ How’s it going? This is Craig. I was watching TV the other day (I steal cable from my neighbor so I can stay off the grid and not leave a paper trail) and saw that the United States government has stated that they have in fact had a secret program for researching possible UFO sightings. Everyone is like freaking out about it and stuff like a bunch of plebeians. I’ve known about

Christmas Songs: The Good, The Bad, And The Dominic The Donkey

Image
This time of year, Christmas music is inescapable. For some, it’s the best time of year, while for others the time between Thanksgiving and December 25 th  is a musical hell. I would have to say that I fall somewhere in between the two. Some songs I love, others I loathe. Let’s take a look at some, shall we? We shall. It’s my blog. The Bad: “All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth” by Spike Jones & His City Slickers I want to preface this by saying that I think Spike Jones is great. He was ahead of his time, and a lot of the music and comedy he did still holds up today. This song does not. I get the joke. This kid wants their two front teeth, but a few minutes of this kid lisping his way through the song worse than Michael Buble (go listen to him. Dude lisps his way through a lot of tunes) is enough to make you change the station you’re listening to. It’s an annoying song, and on some level I think I’m bothered by the fact that it should be “