Showing posts from November, 2017

SPOILER ALERT: How Every TV Show About Bigfoot Ends

Turn on the Travel Channel any day, and if there isn’t a show about BBQ on, there’s a good chance that it’s a show about hunting Bigfoot or some other unknown animals, also known as cryptids. (Side note: it's time to combine the two shows into one. People look for Bigfoot, but at the same time smoke a world class brisket. I’d call it something simple like “Bigfoot BBQ,” then just wait for the Emmys to start rolling in.)   When I was a kid, I watched hours upon hours of these shows and to this day I have been known to kick back and watch a show where a bunch of guys sit on a boat and stare at a lochin hopes that they’ll see Nessie pop her head out of the water ("loch" Scottish speak for lake for those of you not in the know. *Sniff). I’m not sure what it is I love about these shows because the second I turn one on I know that they aren’t going to find anything. How do I know that? Because if they did actually find evidence proving the existence of Bigfoot, Nessi

Just Scan The Apples, Please: Over-Talkative Cashiers

Anytime I’m at the grocery store I do a little scouting before I choose the checkout line I want to wait in. Sure, the length of the line is a major factor, but I’m also looking to see how chatty the cashier is. Now, I’m all for cashiers being pleasant, but when they start to tell this long story and delve into personal things, it’s too much.  I had a cashier once who was ringing stuff up and then out nowhere says, “Did you know they have slushies at Burger King?” I confirmed that I was aware of such a beverage, and he made sure I knew of the fact that, “they’re great.” Then his elderly co-worker walked by. He said to her, “Hi, Carol,” then turned to me and said, “She’s getting up there in age and starting to slow down. She just had surgery.” I didn’t need or want to know this, and I’m sure Carol was thrilled that he was filling everyone in on her personal life. Lucky for her it stopped there because I don’t think that this fella had an off switch. Who knows what kind

2017 Thanksgiving Winners and Losers

And with that, another Thanksgiving is in the books. I hope everyone had a good one, I know I did. But now that the festivities are over until next year, I’ve taken the time to break down the Thanksgiving game film to crown this year’s Thanksgiving Winners and Losers. Winner: Green Bean Casserole Green bean casserole is a depth player on the Thanksgiving menu. In a lineup filled with superstars, green bean casserole is often the first to be overlooked, yet never complains. It just comes back year after year and delivers. I think the biggest thing going against green bean casserole is the name. It’s about as literal as it gets, but there’s something about the words “green bean” and “casserole” that make people glance right over it. This is a rookie mistake and true Thanksgiving aficionados know that there’s always room for some green bean casserole on your plate. Look for big things in the future from green bean casserole. Loser: Belts The fourth Saturday in November is a