Showing posts from February, 2019

Is This Pressed-Penny Collector The Most Boring Man In The World?

Jeopardy! has a new viral star and it's this guy, Matt (pretty cool name):  Arrest this man — Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) February 20, 2019 First the obvious. This guy gives off some serious Dexter vibes. Obviously, I'm not saying he has ever killed anyone, but I wouldn't be shocked if he thinks about how it would feel. I've always thought of pressed-pennies as souvenirs for cheap people who don't want to pony-up a couple of bucks for a t-shirt at the National Air and Space Museum.  They're not great souvenirs when, A) you have to supply materials, and, B) said materials can be found in your car's cup-holder. I've gotten some of those pressed-pennies in my day and you know where they are now? I have no idea either because I've never kept track of them after I left the museum/zoo/amusement park where they were acquired. This guy and his wife travel HOURS to obtain pressed-pennies. The amount of money the

Honk If You Hate Bumper Stickers (*Matt Honks His Horn)

Today, I was behind a car driven by a fascinating person. A fascinating person who supported Bernie Sanders, has the extremely brave belief that people of all religions should coexist, and has a rescue dog, but hey, who REALLY saved who? How do I know this? Because this guy had a car plastered in bumper stickers. I hate bumper stickers and the people who love them.  I practice what I preach. The back of my car is a blank canvas, save for a UCF parking pass that gave me the privilege of not being able to find a parking space at America's biggest university. I don't understand what people are trying to accomplish with bumper stickers. Why does the person driving behind you need any personal information? Why would you want them to know anything about you in the first place? No one cares that you have a dachshund. No cares that you voted for McCain in 2012 No one cares that your kid made the honor roll.  You shouldn't;t want your car to look like its i

Be Yourself On Super Bowl Sunday... Unless You're One Of These People

I'm not a religious man, so to me, Super Bowl Sunday is a Holy Day. Just like the first day of the NHL season, Iron Maiden concerts, and when FXX does an all day Simpsons marathon. I love it, because I love America. Football is America's true past-time because we're the only ones on the planet who care about it (Well, us and the Canadians, but 12 players on the field and three downs? WTF?!?!) That said there are fellow "Americans" out there who want to ruin your good time and harsh your Super Bowl mellow. Please, for the sake of your country, don't be these people. Talks Through the Game But Is Quiet For Commercials Guy No one embodies over-the-top commercialism quite like this guy. In fact, avoid most Super Bowl parties like the plague because of this asshole and his compadres.  This moron says things like "I can't wait for the Doritos ad" and is excited that GEICO brought back their "classic commercials" (those are the