I have music tastes that haven't changed a whole lot since middle school. And even though I went to middle school in the late-'00s, considering I own a phone full of Iron Maiden, Metallica, and any hair metal band du jour you can think of, it seems as though I went to middle school in the late '80s. So, I thought it would be in my best interest to broaden my musical horizons. Little did I know the results would be so disturbing... *** I decided to base my choice of new favorite music genre on the type of person I wanted to become. First, I considered country music. It's hugely popular, women seem to love it, and features simple themes like trucks and large hats. However, this would be too simple to transition to from the 13-minute metal epics based on Samuel Taylor Coleridge poems to which I had become accustomed. Surely, there must be an interim choice.  Fortunately for me, there was. I decided that I would go off the beaten path and eschew ...