Hats: A Fool-Proof Business Idea

I'm not one to traffic in "Get Rich Quick" schemes. I usually see myself getting caught up in "Get frustrated For A Long Time And Then Achieve Moderate Success" schemes.

However, I think I may have stumbled across the most marketable product in the world, and it's been right under our noses (or should I say, on top of our heads) this entire time:


I think I need to open a hat store. It's the one thing that every person on the planet can use. The only prerequisite for buying a hat is having a head, and even then you could still buy hats for friends who do have heads, or you could still buy a hat and just wear it on your neck-stump.

Shoes? Not everyone has feet. Gloves? Nope, not everyone has the luxury of hands. Hats? Last time I checked, unless you're a chicken, you need the ol' noggin to stay on your shoulders if you wish to continue living.

And what better head decoration is there than hats?

None. None more better.

That's why I submit for your approval a one-stop-shop for all of your hat needs. You can buy hats practically anywhere, but my store, Matt's Hats, would offer hats as well as hat accessories like hat cleaning spray or devices that let you shoot fireworks from your hat to celebrate the 4th of July, ring in the New Year, or just ruin your neighbor's evening.

There's a huge market for hats and so many different hat possibilities. Baseball caps, Indiana Jones hats... uh... party hats. There are a lot of hats.

I got the idea for Matt's Hats when I walked past a hat store. I realized that my name was Matt and it rhymed with "hat," so half the battle of opening the business was taken care of right then and there.

So watch out Lids. Watch out other stores that sell hats.

It's Matt's Hats' world and you're just living in it.

P.S. "Matt's Hat World" isn't a bad name either.


Popular posts from this blog

Too Many Teens Blowin' Fat Clouds, Bruh: Let's Solve The Teenage Vaping Epidemic

Can Sidney Crosby Please Stop Making It So Difficult For Me to Hate Him?