Are Fajitas Problematic In 2019?


Image result for fajitas

I'm going to say it upfront: There's nothing "problematic" about fajitas. I'm just tired of all the "Is (Insert Movie/Game/Book/Anything Enjoyable Here) Problematic?" articles, but they seem to get the Internet machine a-rumblin', so here we are.

Fajitas aren't racist or transphobic or ageist or whatever your favorite -ist or -phobic word is, but I do take umbrage with some of the things that fajitas literally bring to the table.

I don't like that in a restaurant there is no way to discreetly order fajitas. All other foods make their way to the table in a solemn and dignified manner. Not fajitas. They opt for the "look at me" approach, emerging from the kitchen steaming and loudly sizzling so that everyone at that particular Chili's knows that fajitas are in the building. I think I've even seen fajitas served with a side of Sparklers before. I want to order some food, I don't want to order everyone in the restaurant turning to see where my obnoxious entree is headed. When you order fajitas, a troop of medieval buglers might as well come out of the kitchen accompanied by some guy with a long scroll that he unfurls and it rolls across the floor who then yells, "On this day, in the year of our Lord two-thousand and nineteen, Squire Matthew hath ordered thy chef's most exquisite fajitas!"

Then once that whole production is wrapped up, You're left with one of the only foods that you're required to construct yourself. How bogus is that? The idea of a restaurant is that you're served food by others. Why would you want to do the work? Like those places where you grill your own steak. How is that enjoyable? You can do that at home!

It's like the chef had an emotional breakdown and just couldn't finish the job. Here's the ingredients, have had at it, tubby. If I'm going to be forced to construct my own food, the next time I order fajitas, I'm showing up wearing a chef's hat and a "Jim Nabors is Way Cool" apron.

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Perhaps fajitas' biggest offense is that they're even a pain if someone else at your table orders them. There's only so much real estate at a table and it's all valuable. It's simple supply and demand (which is the only thing I know about economics, but I bring it up any chance that I get so people think I know more about how the economy works than I actually do). You order your steak and it comes out on one compact plate. Now, your pal who is dining with you decides to get fajitas and here comes half the kitchen's supply of plates and bowls. You usually even get some weird basket with tortillas stuffed it which takes up even more space. Now there's no more table space and you're forced to eat your New York Strip on your lap because of your friend's fajita mission control.

I will say though, all this aside, fajitas are pretty damn delicious.

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