This Dobby The House Elf-Looking Thing Ruined My Night

Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt compelled to check Twitter. I'm not sure why I do this. Hardly anyone is retweeting my fire tweets (which you can find here) during daylight hours, let alone at 3am when a good chunk of the Western Hemisphere is fast asleep.

Sometimes I learn something cool and then peacefully drift back to sleep. Other times, like last evening, I see something so starling that it makes the idea of sleep seem not only impossible, but detrimental to my safety and well-being.

It was this tweet and its accompanying video that made me want to dig the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Red Barons promotional baseball bat out of my closet just in case I had to protect myself rom this thing:
I have no idea what the hell that creature is. All I can tell you is that in my half-asleep mind, I was completely certain that thing was outside my house flapping its arms like it was doing "The Chicken Dance" at a shitty wedding reception.

By the way, this is the reason I'd be hesitant to install a Ring camera. I prefer to live in blissful ignorance of what's going on outside while I'm asleep. Sleep is a peaceful thing; it's where I'm a viking.

The general consensus was that this mysterious being looked like Dobby the House Elf, he of Harry Potter fame.
Image result for dobby the house elf

The resemblance is obvious. Dobby is kind of creepy, but something about the way this thing walked made it extra ghoulish.

Read up on "The Uncanny Valley" and this should explain the psychological reasons that watching this thing bow-leggedly walk down someone's driveway is so unsettling.

Of course, I don't think that this was actually something from the Harry Potter Universe (although I haven't ruled out creatures from the Star Wars or the Marvel Cinematic Universes). I kind of assume it's a hoax, but wouldn't it be cool if it was an alien?

It would be disappointing that we received proof of extraterrestrial life because one alien was too stupid to figure out where the blind spots were on some security cameras. They figured out interstellar travel, so avoiding cameras shouldn't be too tall of an order.

Odds are it's something much more earthbound, but what?

Well as my astute ancestors always said: "When in doubt, assume it's a crackhead."


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