Local Moron Travels Directly Into The Path Of A Major Hurricane

It's me.
I'm the local moron.

While all others who live on the somewhat phallic-shaped peninsula known as Florida mull over the possibility of evacuating their homes, I made my way to the Sunshine State as Hurricane Dorian bears down.

I've been through some hurricanes, so I'm what you'd call a "grizzled veteran."

Hurricanes are pretty easy to get through. You tie things down that can fly away, hope the electricity stays on, and load up on some food. It's like getting ready for a blizzard.

In fact, I'd say blizzards are worse. You don't have to shovel a hurricane.

Still, I feel like a dunce. I'd even wear a dunce cap if it wouldn't blow off my head in the gale force winds.

I think the main reason hurricanes are scary (aside from the wind, rain, and overall terror associated with them) is that we give them names. Personifying the storms makes it seem like every move they make is calculated almost like it has a personal beef with Florida. Maybe Florida had sex with its ex or something.

Anywho, I guess I'll just hunker down like I did for Hurricanes Matthew (the most totally bitchin' hurricane of all time) and Irma, as well as Super Storm Sandy.

Hopefully, I'll be able to get back home next week, but if not there are worse places to be stuck than Orlando.

Even a storm ravaged Orlando is pretty great.


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