Dude, Chill Out: A Pair of Surplus Rants

I get bothered by lots of things. It's not exactly a great trait if you're looking to lead a happy existence, but if you need blogging material it rules.

There are so many little things that I can't stand, but not all of them can carry an entire blog on their own. Which is where this blog comes in.

I had some extra rants laying around in storage and thought maybe I could find them a home.


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Hot Dogs

I bought some hot dogs because I'm a proud American. I even went for some Ball Park franks for an extra splash of Americana. 

However when I returned home I noticed that the two seemingly identical packs of wieners varied in length. While the exact sizes of the wieners is neither here nor there, there was still a problem. One pack was labeled "Bun Length," while the other pack had no special label and was shorter.

Why is "Bun Length" a specialty dog? Why wouldn't they be engineered to fit the bun properly in the first place?

It's like buying socks that don't cover your toes so you return them to the store and they tell you that you should have bought shoe length socks.

Recently while ranting about this to my brother, I was told to "Dude, chill out." He's probably right about that.


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Social Security Cards

Everyone knows that your social security number is super important. So important in fact, that I'm told it's a bad idea to use your SSN as your Powerball numbers or drunkenly shout it in a crowded bar.

Your social security card was given to you (well, actually to your parents) when you were born. The need for the physical card comes up from time to time throughout your life.

Despite the importance, social security cards come on the cheapest, shittiest paper that Uncle Sam had laying around his office. You expect me to keep track of a slip of paper that looks like a "Free Game of Mini Golf" coupon for my entire life?

That'll probably be like 41 years!

Those things should be made out of titanium (like they use on the space shuttle), or at the very least it should be plastic.

I try to shy away from politics on this here blog, but I find it hard to believe that there isn't enough money in the federal budget to give me Social Security Card that won't blow away because a slight breeze came through the window.



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