Christmas Songs: The Good, The Bad, And The Dominic The Donkey
This time of year, Christmas music is inescapable. For some,
it’s the best time of year, while for others the time between Thanksgiving and
December 25th is a musical hell. I would have to say that I fall
somewhere in between the two. Some songs I love, others I loathe.
Let’s take a look at some, shall we?
We shall. It’s my blog.
The Bad: “All I
Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth” by Spike Jones & His City Slickers
I want to preface this by saying that I think Spike Jones is
great. He was ahead of his time, and a lot of the music and comedy he did still
holds up today.
This song does not.
I get the joke. This kid wants their two front teeth, but a
few minutes of this kid lisping his way through the song worse than Michael
Buble (go listen to him. Dude lisps his way through a lot of tunes) is enough
to make you change the station you’re listening to.
It’s an annoying song, and on some level I think I’m bothered
by the fact that it should be “are” instead
of “is” in the title, but I’m not 100% sure.
The Good: Anything
by Bing Crosby
If you throw in the Andrews Sisters you’ve got yourself even
more of a Christmas home run, friendo.
For most of my life, Bing Crosby has been the soundtrack of
Christmas. Show me one person who doesn’t enjoy “Mele Kalikimaka.” Good luck with
that, because they don’t exist.
Throw on some Bing and you’ll have yourself the
hap-hap-happiest Christmas since the man himself tap-danced with
Danny-Fucking-Kaye.
The Bad: “Grandma
Got Run Over By A Reindeer” by Elmo and Patsy
I hate this song on an unhealthy level. For this blog I had
to look up who performed it and I wasn’t surprised that it was a guy named
Elmo and his wife Patsy.
Yuck.
This song is an absolute hunk of shit.
The guy’s voice is annoying. The subject of the song is ridiculously
stupid. Also, I’ve never seen it, but I’m sure the animated special of the same name
is garbage too. Everything about this is about as bad as Christmas songs get.
Grandma must have heard this song which caused her to commit
suicide by Reindeer.
The Good: “Christmas
Eve Sarajevo” by Trans-Siberian Orchestra
If you don’t recognize this song by its actual title, it’s
the one with all the guitars that goes, “da-da-dada, da-da-dada.”
Born from the ashes of 80’s and 90s metallers Savatage, TSO
is a band whose catalog and live performances have made them an absolute
holiday staple.
This song not only gets played on modern rock stations during
the Christmas season, it’s one of the few songs that gets you pumped up!
The Dominic The
Donkey: “Dominic the Donkey” by Lou Monte
This song belongs in a category all its own. I feel like I
should hate this song, but for whatever reason I don’t.
I think it all boils down to the fact that in the song they
mention that Dominic is the “Italian Christmas Donkey.” Those are three words
that do not go together in any other context. Even in this context it’s weird.
Good luck not “chingedy, ching”-ing and hee-hawwing the next
time you hear this song on the radio.
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Be sure to leave a comment so we can discuss your feelings
on Christmas songs and why your least favorite one is “Christmas Shoes.”
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