I'm Pro-Mask And The Fact That They Help Prevent The Spread Of COVID-19 Is Just A Bonus


Like a lot of people, my routine before going anywhere now includes an additional step. While before I would pat myself down to confirm that I had grabbed my keys, wallet, and phone, I now do a quick feel around inside my pockets to make sure I grabbed my mask.

I really never thought we'd get to a point where we all had to walk around masks virtually anytime we leave the house. In all honesty, It kind of scared me the first time I had to wear one in public. It had a very post-apocalyptic, Mad Max-ian vibe and I felt like at any moment someone was going to stab me in the jugular if that's what it took to procure the last industrial size pack of Charmin.

However, that was months ago. Since then I've got over the nerves and am unabashedly Team Mask. 

The fact that there are people militantly opposed to what is pretty much the least you can do when it comes to preventing the spread of COVID (aside from doing nothing at all) is odd to me. I feel like these people are missing out on the greatest benefit the masks offer: social anonymity.

Maybe this makes me a douchebag but I like flying under the radar when it comes to being in public. It's not because I'm rude or anything, I just have to be prepared for social interactions. I need to jump up and slap a sign that hangs above the locker room exit in my mind that says "Get Ready To Talk To People!" to pump myself up like I'm a linebacker for Notre Dame.

That's where the masks have been great. No one recognizes anyone. We're all dialed in and going about our business which is the way I like it. I don't need people stoppin me for a chat and trying to get a window into my life based on what's occupying my grocery cart.

"Hmm, a giant barrel of cheese curls and a case of Yuengling. Having a party, fella?"

Nope, just a shitty day.

People don't know you well enough to pick up on any non-facial identifying factors. Like for me, I don't think anyone would know me by Sasquatch-like gait, so having your face covered just about ensures you'll be anonymous. Why do you think Anonymous wears masks? To be anonymous, duh.

 But, if you're not careful, your mask can be your undoing too.

We've started treating masks like bumper stickers. I'll cop to it, I have a few masks with big UCF logos on them, bragging to all who see me that I spent four years at Central Florida's most hallowed hall of academia. The thing is a that has now narrowed down the pool of the mask wearers and lead be a dead giveaway to their identity, and rendering the mask useless (aside from the whole "keeps people safe" aspect, I guess). 

I don't know why I felt the need to let every stranger know where I went to school by wearing the school's colors across my face. I just did it, the same way you felt like letting people know you're a Cowboys or that you're dopey and just trying to make a statement by not wearing one at all.

Part of me hopes that the mask thing is here to stay. I mean, think how great it'll be in the winter when you're nose and mouth has an extra layer of fabric protecting it. 

Absolutely delightful.

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