Honk If You Hate Bumper Stickers (*Matt Honks His Horn)

Image result for bumper stickers
Today, I was behind a car driven by a fascinating person. A fascinating person who supported Bernie Sanders, has the extremely brave belief that people of all religions should coexist, and has a rescue dog, but hey, who REALLY saved who?

How do I know this? Because this guy had a car plastered in bumper stickers.

I hate bumper stickers and the people who love them. 

I practice what I preach. The back of my car is a blank canvas, save for a UCF parking pass that gave me the privilege of not being able to find a parking space at America's biggest university.

I don't understand what people are trying to accomplish with bumper stickers. Why does the person driving behind you need any personal information? Why would you want them to know anything about you in the first place?

No one cares that you have a dachshund. No cares that you voted for McCain in 2012 No one cares that your kid made the honor roll. 

You shouldn't;t want your car to look like its in the Daytona 500 except it's sponsored by "Hilary For Prison 2016" and "Gas, Grass, Or Ass; No One Rides For Free."

In such a politically polarized time, aren't you just asking for your car to be keyed if you're in everyone's face about who you voted for?

Plus, the advertising you are doing is actually worth some money. You're giving corporations free advertising, maaaaaaaan.

It's annoying when people try to push an agenda with bumper stickers, but the ones I hate the most are the ones that try to be funny.

It makes me cringe that someone thinks, I'm going to brighten someones day with this "Give me the coffee and no one gets hurt" sticker. 

But, Matt why do you get so angry, it's just lighthearted fun. 

Where's the fun? I can see the curvature of the Earth, but fun is nowhere to be found.

A few years ago, I was behind a car with a bumper sticker that said Got Poop? I'm not exaggerating that this sticker ruined my day. It bugged me that there are people that still think parodying Got Milk? is hilarious. Who is buying that for themselves, or worse yet giving it as a gift.

I saw this bumper sticker about taking a shit and I immediately thought of you.

Gee, thanks.

Am I overreacting? Yup. Is this level of vitriol aimed at a piece of paper with adhesive unhealthy? Probably.

Let me know in the comments what bumper stickers you have slapped on the back of your car, and best of luck trying to defend it.

(P.S. If I make Matt Reigle Files bumper stickers, those are completely acceptable.)


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