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Can Sidney Crosby Please Stop Making It So Difficult For Me to Hate Him?
By
Matt Reigle
As I'm sure many people know, I'm a die-hard Philadelphia Flyers fan, and with that comes an ingrained hatred of the the Flyers' cross-state rivals, the Pittsburgh Penguins. As far as Flyers fans are concerned, Penguin public enemy number one is their crappy mustache growing leader, Sidney Crosby. He has always been pretty easy to hate. He has scored countless big goals in his career, including this one in the 2010 Olympics in which he tore out the collective hearts of every person in the United States and stomped on them with his Reeboks. But lately, there have been many examples of Sid being a good guy, like this one from yesterday's all-star game, and frankly, I don't like it. Me realizing Sidney Crosby is a nice guy is not unlike hearing that Hannibal Lecter volunteers at the local animal shelter on weekends when he's not eating census takers. Sure he's a cold blooded (Flyer) killer, but damn it, it if he isn't a quality human being who s
Clay, Algae, And Uselessness: Why Chia Pets Suck
By
Matt Reigle
Many inventions and fads come and go but somehow one, despite its unparalleled uselessness, has stood the test of time. I am of course referring to perennial TV ad and last minute "Oh shit, I forgot to get him a gift" gift, the Chia Pet. I can remember seeing those things in stores and on TV my entire life and haven’t known anyone who has ever owned one. I’ve never gone to someone’s house and they were like: “Here’s the kitchen we just re-did the whole thing, new cabinets and everything. Before that we finished the basement, got a nice, big flat screen down there. And oh yeah, you’ve got to see the Chia Pet, it’s an Elmer Fudd.” Have you ever wanted to own a clay sculpture of Bugs Bunny’s head? You have? Great! Now, how about a clay sculpture of Bugs Bunny’s head, with an afro made of moss! Everything is better with algae growing on it, ask anyone who has ever owned a pool. They’ll tell you the old pool-owner adage, “Why clean when it’s better green?” I a
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