Amish Conmen: How The Amish Have Been Pulling One Over On Us For More Than A Century

I’m from south central Pennsylvania, a part of the country known for the presence of its technology shunning residents, the Amish. People flock to Lancaster and the surrounding counties to see the Amish and I don’t see why. Naturally, this has led me to the conclusion that the Amish are some of the greatest con artists of all time.

(It should be noted that I have no qualms about taking the Amish to task because I’m confident that none of them will stumble upon this blog.)

Let’s start with the biggest thing that people think of when they hear the word “Amish,” and that’s the fact that they don’t use electricity.

I have yet to hear a good reason for not using electricity. I don’t know if they thought that it was just a fad or what. It makes no sense to me. On a whim one Amish guy saw a light bulb and thought, “nope, not for us.” What makes me believe that this is some sort of long con is the fact that in the century and a half that electricity has been prevalent, the Amish have stuck to their guns despite the fact there really isn’t any reason to ignore electricity.

Except for one: attention.

It’s my belief that the Amish do what they do as a part of a well thought out and well-oiled PR machine, that that they use to sell more furniture and pies.

At this point the word “Amish” is a brand and they need to protect it. And the Amish are very protective of their image. Literally. They prefer to not have their picture taken because it steals their soul or something.

I don’t buy that.

I think it’s to promote an air of mystery and intrigue around the Amish. Why else would people plan their summer vacation around going to Lancaster to see a bunch of people sitting in the dark making butter?

On a related note, the horse and buggies are also a part of this PR machine, and they’re cool, but if you’re from Pennsylvania, you know what an absolute nuisance they are. Why is there traffic on this country road at two in the afternoon? Oh, because Amos had to run some errands. And god forbid those horses pick up the pace a little bit, I’ve seen the Kentucky Derby a couple of times. Horses have some wheels, so let’s see some of that on the roads.

Do I begrudge the Amish for doing this? Hell no! I think it’s brilliant. They’ve been running a long con based on beards and straw hats that’s been passed down for generations. That’s nothing short of incredible. But, I’m an advocate for consumer safety, and I think it should be known that the Amish are trying to pull one over on the Normies (what I assume they call non-Amish people).

P.S. I’ve seen Amish people using cell phones before. Flip phones, but still. Naturally they’d be a few generations of phones behind.